Justine was lovely and sweet, but Corbin’s heart was somewhere else: Dating Diaries | Opinion


Corbin is 30, works in tech and lives in the west end. He says his style is “casual and low-key. Lots of hoodies, jeans or other comfy pants, and skate shoes. Arguably it’s a bit of a “modern hippie-skater” look. On a date, I’d wear a nice shirt, and avoid ripped pants or dirty shoes.” Corbin is “friendly, happy, empathetic, thoughtful, curious and kind. I love to support my people and be there for my friends when they’re struggling.” Corbin enjoys long walks, canoeing, camping, gardening, cooking and watching movies. When he met Justine, he says, “I would have been officially single for around nine months.” He’s looking for someone who is “kind and genuine,” whom he could “hang out with all the time,” and who is “basically a best friend and romantic partner all in one.”

I met Justine through one of my groups of friends. I liked her beautiful eyes and her pretty curly hair. I found her quite attractive.

We hung out together with our mutual friends a few times and were very flirty with each other. I initiated all of our early interactions. I was open to the possibility that this would lead somewhere more meaningful, but I was also somewhat guarded with Justine. I was hoping for fireworks and butterflies, as always, but I was aware that sometimes those feelings develop with time and aren’t there right away. I was also very aware that those feelings weren’t really there at all. That being said, Justine seemed quite into me, which made me feel wanted, but also gave me nerves because I wasn’t quite as into her, at least not yet.

I made the plan for our first official date, a couple of weeks away. I’d already snagged two tickets to a cool event at a local restaurant because I was so excited to go check it out and had figured that I would decide on the right person to bring closer to the event. Since I was being flirty and starting to vibe with Justine, it felt like she was the right person to invite along.

She could certainly hold a conversation, which has always been so important to me. Having been on a number of awkward dates that felt one-sided, it was so nice to hang out with someone that was fun and funny and chatty, with lots of things to say. Some people can’t talk or tell stories, or only answer questions with short answers. We talked about our backgrounds, which were similar, and the trips we’d been on and the community in which we lived. We talked about music and art, and we definitely talked a lot about food — we both love to cook and eat good food.

At the restaurant, we were sitting at a long community table with several other pairs of people. Folks were chatting and asking how folks knew each other, and I told some people that we had met through friends. I remember looking over at Justine, and she was looking at me somewhat lovingly or longingly. I could tell from her face that she was into me. I thought that it was sweet, and that she’s really nice and pretty, but I had another person on my mind.

I had recently met a woman whom I was intrigued by. We actually exchanged a couple of texts during the date I was on with Justine. I wasn’t on my phone and texting her constantly by any means. I felt butterflies and excitement about the potential with the woman I was texting, and then would return to the date with Justine, where I was being present and having fun but not feeling the same excitement.

The date ended well, with a hug and a kiss. Things were definitely pleasant. We went for a coffee a few weeks later, which was nice, and saw each other with our mutual friends as we had been doing, but I realized that I had to tell her that I was no longer interested in hanging out romantically. I told her that I had met someone and, although that other relationship wasn’t “serious” just yet, I knew that something special was there and was clearly developing. Justine was lovely and sweet, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Corbin rates his date (out of 10): 7

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