Search for order is ongoing, part of being human – Clarion Herald


By Deacon David Farinelli
Bridal Registry, Clarion Herald

Let me get on a soap box for a minute!

I recently had a client come to me with an issue, and I asked him what his relationship with God was like. He switched counselors, remarking that I was too “prereachy.” His current counselor is slowly bringing him to my point of view.

Those of you who do counseling are probably saying I’m trying to shove my beliefs on clients, and, thus, I am unethical. However, whenever I ask clients why they are coming to me and why they think a certain situation has happened to them, their response is something like, “My life is in chaos, and I need God in my life!”

Order has always been my main thought. Everything comes together best when order is the main component.

Though mankind is drawn to order, more often than not we make decisions that lead us to disorder. Then we get confused and lose our way. Some people may turn to God right away, but most have to be brought to him again and again. This isn’t a new thought, but one that has afflicted mankind since the first man and woman.

We come from God, and, eventually, we go back to God. It makes sense that while we are alive, we would be attuned to God for direction and not simply be tagged a “holy roller”! While our daily lives do pass with little to no thought of God and our relationship to him, despite our free will, God remains an integral part of us. He doesn’t intrude, threaten or punish us. He allows us to make our own choices.

When we find ourselves in chaos, overwhelmed, feeling tangled in conflicted thoughts and decisions, a good idea is to ask: Am I living an ordered life? Have I allowed myself to set my own priorities and excluded God, intentionally or not? Do I find myself thinking about God only one day a week?

Historically, humanity has done a fairly great job of throwing itself into complete chaos and confusion. It’s probably the only “great” thing we have done.

If marriage problems arise in the first few years, in order to really begin to sort life out, it’s important to choose a counselor who is able to deal with human issues while integrating your own sense of the spiritual in your life. We are not just human, not just animal, but creatures in the image of God, possessing a soul! This makes us infinitely different than other creatures in the world.

A church person, a priest or a spiritual director can help some, but a person trained in counseling can help in a deeper way.

At Catholic Counseling Services, our intent is to accept clients where they are and assist them in achieving their desired goals. We are not about “converting” people, subverting individual values ​​or judging anyone at any time.

Assess your own readiness for counseling in light of what changes in yourself will be needed to reach your goal. We are here to help you become, as Catholic author Matthew Kelly would say, “the best version of yourself.”

Deacon Dave Farinelli is clinical supervisor and counselor at Catholic Counseling Service. He can be reached at (504) 861-6245 or [email protected]


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